Mentor - Anthony Nelson

Continuing on my series on mentorship.

What makes a mentor? What makes an individual want to take time and interest to help you be all that you can be. Is it because he went through so much to achieve his successes and he wants to help others shortcut the process? Is it because he sees something in that person and recognize that he or she possesses the ability to accomplish whatever that person desires? Is it a way to give back?

Throughout my life, I have asked that question. Some where out of nowhere, a gift appears. A person who was willing to show me the ropes, help me through difficult times, console me when I was hurting, lifting me up when I was down, believing in me when I couldn't believe in myself and asking me to stretch myself.

That person was Anthony Nelson. Tony showed up during my college years at San Francisco State University. I was dating a great gal I had met there and I had the blessed opportunity of meeting and becoming friends with Tony, her father.

Tony had owned his own real estate business and was primarily living his life working with upcoming startup companies and investing in those companies he believed in, while being the owner of several real estate properties. Up to this point my Dad had been my mentor and I learned the best of who he was, but Tony was that special person that made me think outside the box. Similar to Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad book, Tony was my rich dad. He was a person who shined with optimism, a unwavering belief, demonstrated a positive mental attitude and always seemed to make lemonade out of lemons. It was hard to get this man down.

When I met Tony, he had been battling failed kidneys for several years and had dialysis three times a week. It was something that definitely took its toll on his body and every once in a while would tire his spirit. But then again, even showing that he was human once in a while, you couldn't stop his determination and rosy outlook.

I had never met anyone like him, nor have I met anybody like him since. Tony smiled often, admitted his mistakes, told of his encounters during business, challenged me, and really wanted me to do well in life.

Some of my most favorite times were playing Tony in chess. My grandfather had been the only other person I had played chess with in my life. Oh, how Tony loved that game. The thinking ahead a few moves at a time, thinking how his opponent would move to counter his own moves, strategizing at the highest level and continually whipping my butt. Only once did I ever beat Tony at chess and as think back, I still think he let me have that one, perhaps to keep my spirits up.

Tony taught me the basics of selling and to be proud of this profession. We sell every moment of the day and sometimes we forget how it is the oldest profession in all the world and the most needed. Without sales, not much would happen...think about it.

Tony challenged me in chess, but also with my mind. He taught me how to think outside the box.

One day, he asked me what are the benefits of communism? Those who know me, sometimes I tend to react to quickly without really thinking. This process and that question he asked me still impacts me to this day. His goal was not to teach me the benefits of communism, but to really focus on thinking differently. After I had spout off on the evils of communism and why it didn't work, he asked me again. I couldn't believe this man I respected would continue to ask me this question. Why does he believe in it? Why does he care about communism?

At first I didn't get his point. Finally, I succumbed to his question and came up with about five answers discussing the positivism of communism. Not realizing I could even come up with answers in the first place, I was surprised that my mind was able to seek those answers. Then he smiled and pointed out the exercise he was experimenting with me. He shared that many times in life, I will be faced with a challenge or a decision that will require me to look at all facets and possibilities. Sometimes the gut is the best answer, but at other times, I will need to be more thorough with my thought processes in order to seek the best answer to my situation. This one exercise has helped me greatly throughout my life and helped me be a better-rounded person who can think outside the box and operate in a world of possibility. How often would you thank someone for a single lesson that help reshaped your life in such a way?

Tony gave me hope, made me want to be a better man, and made me want to strive to be the best that I can. Without his love, inspiration, kindness and belief in me, I am not sure of where I would be today. My actions would have been different. I would have missed out on meeting other mentors in my life. Who knows how my life would have turned out by not meeting Tony. What I do know that meeting him has made me grateful for every minute I got to spend time with him: talking, playing chess, having debates or simply listening to his lively business and life stories.

Faced with monumental health issues, he always took it in stride. One endearing story that Tony shared with me about his failed kidneys really demonstrated how he would seek a positive viewpoint.

He once kidded with me that he could drive from Newark to Los Angeles in four hours. Of course I debated that was impossible and asked how that was possible. He replied, “Because I don't have to pee and I drive a diesel, I don't have to stop at all. Plus I love to drive fast, so I am able to do that drive in only four hours, when most folks take five or more.”

I thought that simple statement demonstrated that he always worked hard to find the positive in his situation and I am fortunate to have had that short time in my life to be in the presence of such a phenomenal man. How often do we take our health for granted? How often do we forget our blessings? How often do we drown ourselves in negativity? At least when I was around Tony, he always showed his gratitude to be alive and that he appreciated what he had been given. We have a lot to learn from Tony.